I just don't give a f anymore

AFTER EVERYTHING I did for him? He's gonna go on and make it seem l;ike I am this horrible person? Like I am the one who wronged him? WELL F THAT!!!!!!! He must be stupid to not realize that I was the one who was alweaysd there, I was the one who would always listen to him, did everything in my power to make him happy, and would let him say all these horrible things to me and then just let them go, and whenever I said anything he could not and would not let it go, FORGET IT!!!!

I cooked for him, would get him little gifts to show I was thinking of him, was ALWAYS there for him, did pretty much everything he asked of me, I can't do it anymore.

HE HAS NO CLUE HOW MUCH HE HURT ME!!!!! I was a bad friend? Really?

Did I ever tell you that I hope you die? Was I not there for you when you needed me? Did I not cook for you? Did I not do you favors? Who would of paid your ticket? Who would of always brought you stuff to your work? Who would of let you treat them like shit and just kept coming back?

I wish I recorded it all and could play it back for him, moment by momment, then maybe he would seew how bad he treated me and how nice I was to him. I BET NOT OTHER GIRL HAS DONE WHAT I DID FOR HIM, I do not understand how he could not remeber all the good things I did and have done for him, and the few bad is all he can focus on.

EVERYTHING is about him, how could I do that to HIM? How HE feels, Never once was it about me or for me. it has and always will be about him.

I just can't do it anymore. I'm done crying.

I have cried so much and I really did do everything I could for him, but it was never good enough. I can't do it anymore. He will NEVER SEE WHAT I WAS. He's too busy assuming the worst. and its sad, the truth means nothing to him. its his way or nothing.

I can't and wont be hurt anymore. I AM SOOOO MAD, SO VERY MAD AND HURT.

And the worst part is there is niothing I can say or do, because it means nothing to him, he dseont remember and never will.

I was nothing but a tool for him

The whole time all I wanted was for him to love me like I love him, I tried so hard and it was all for nothing.

Maybe now I can let myself be treated right, him and my last to ex's who all used me and treated me like shit, maybve now I can let somone good in, someone who will treat me like I treat them. wont just use me for when they are lonely or for when they just want sex. I'm better then that. I deserve to be treated right. I treat guys like kings and I deserve a king who will treat me like a queen. it will be equal, and it will be great.

One step at a time, so far its so good, but its too early to tell.