Totally confused by this, I wish I could get into it more but this is something that is better left unsaid. Sometimes it hard for me to believe what happens in my life. Its like a black cloud fallows me around no matter where I go. Always ready to rain on me. All that can go wrong will go wrong it seems. Only if I could explain this all to you than maybe you might all see where I'm comming from. But it now probally just seems like I'm feeling sorry for myself. Which I'm not. Yes I am upset about my life right now but I'm sorry about more important things. Letting my family down letting my friends down doing something I promis myself I never would. Nothing is easy right now and its only going to get worst. I don't know at this point I just feel like I'm walking around in a nightmare but I just can't wake up...... I don't know about this anymore