Three days ago I was suppose to have something.

Something very very important, something I need, I have been able to get by and be ok but it's the constant worry of not knowing what will happen that's killing me. I got lucky today I almoat and it happen to me it was starting to really bother me but I got there in time. Everyday since Saturday its been don't worry it will hapen Today, in the morning then not till after one then not till tonight and so on and so forth, It's klling me so finally I begged from the bottom of my heart for tomorrow it NEED it tomorrow no more games these "what ifs" will be the death of me.

I do not want to go through what I went thur this morning to happen again I can't deal with it.

Its late, I'm tired.

I went to the gym worked at Oasis (had two clinets) tried to slove my problem then worked CTS 4 to 930, I got to see C he camed and visted me at work for it bit it was nice, he had to borrow my jumper cables after tho, then after worked tired again to fix things and it didnt work so needless to say I;m ready for bed, i will update more later for now zzzzz