Here I am again

You would think I would learn from all the times before, but no, stupid stupid, I did it again, though thankfully I am not head over heels in love this time. So I guess that's one good thing to be happy about.

Anyways, so yea hes back, but as quickly as he came back into my life he is gone again. There was two wonderful and amazing nights and now this. So heres what happen all day yesterday I was texting him about me wanting to hang out today after my job interview which went well I think, well yestereday he never gave me a straight answer about wanting to hang, I even was sending him all kinds of things last night went full out just for him, All day long his texts were short and delayed I thought he was working so I didn't want to bother him too much after my job interview and the gym I texted him and asked how work was going, he said he wasent working he was moving stuff and almost done, So I figured he would text me when he was done, we texted a little bit I sent him another pciture then he stopped texting me. I also didn't ask him what time or anything because of pass experiences with him when I would asking about hanging he would get mad.

He would always be like I never said I wanted to hang stop assuming I'll let you know, he would always do that, so insted of asking I waited, waited for him to text me, to let me know what time or when he was done, never did then at 8:30 he texted me saying, "for some reason I thoguht you wanted to hang out today" and I said "I did/still do but I thought you said you were moving" and he said "I said I was almost done at 5:30". then I said I could still come over now and I was waiting for him to text me and let me know what the plan was.

I sent a few more text then finally said that I'll leave you alone sorry that I missunderstood, I wont lie. I am upset, I was looking fowared all day to this and he never even comfirmed with me and I still had hope, I even made dinner for him, why dose this always happen? I have no clue what I did wrong this time.

I didn't want to ask him again this moring if he wanted to hang but I felt like he was gonna get mad just like he used too, things were finally ok and now this.

BUT

Besides this all I have been doing is working like a dog and being a gym rat, everyday all day and my body is still not where I want it to be, I'm trying so hard but still not quite there yet. I would really like for a change of some sort, something good needs to happen to me before I completly lose my mind.

I am probably one of the most upbeat and postive people now always looking on the bright side making the best of eveything but I am at my breaking point, I can only take so much I have been little miss sunshine for months now and dealing with more shit then anyone knows and I am literally gonna lose it. just for once it would be nice to have a real friend.