Let me just spill out everything from inside on this entry, I don't even know how I really feel right now, I'm lost I'm sad and I'm confused. I don't even care that my birthday is friday I don't think anything can change how I really feel right now. I feel so used. I knew it was wrong I knew it should of never happen. As hard as I tried to fight it I just broke down and gave into the passion gave into the "love". I should of knowned better... I should of knowned that it wouldent last till morning... I can't I don't want to give up but I can't keep going on like this. This feeling of confusion lingers inside my heart and burns me from the inside out. The tension the anger the regret the remorse the solance is a whirl wind that I can't seem to get out of. Spinning me round and round brigging me up and down. I don't know how much longer I am going to put with this, I want to walk away and say goodbye forever and I want to hold on and never let go. I'm just caught in the undertoe and I keep getting pulled out to sea.