I'm better today than I've been being. I just not myself lately. Nothing much to worry about. I am kinda happy with myself. I mean HELLO atleast I'm really trying this time to quit. blah I feel like shit. My head hurts ouch! Maybe I can get over all of this. B/c I really hate being sad or depressed sometimes for no reason. I remember coming home lying around and just crying. I cried until I couldn't breathe. Now when I get mad or bugged I cry. Instead of cutting I'm crying a lot. But its good. I don't cry all the time. And I did want to cut one day even fixed something to cut with but I couldn't do it. After this deep cut I'm really scared. I don't like the blood. I thought I'd like to bleed a lot but it just felt like if I didn't stop the blood flowing out I might have died. Although I'm dramitic and would have lived through it but still I was scared. Its almost good that I'm not wanting to cut but I still need help with my depression. Some days I'm fine just sitting around but other days I have to keep busy. And other times I feel like I'm going no where really fast. Talking helps me. I haven't really needed to talk b/c I haven't went any where besides today I went to Amanda's watched Stephen King's Sometimes they come back. I had fun and it was good to be away from the house. I think I'll tell her mom said no for me to come over there tomorrow although I want to but I'd rather do something else. I don't want to get into a habit every day. I know I need more things to keep me busy and I'm not ready to talk about my cut to her. It makes me sad just to look at it. I don't want to talk about it with more people than the ones who already know. HELP ME NOW THAT I CAN HELP MYSELF!!!--