I want to cut. But then again I don't. As soon as I get strong enough to control the thoughts and not cut; I think about it more and cut myself. I'm lying to everyone and betraying everyone who's ever tried to help me. I'm failing no one but myself. I know I need help but I'm not brave enough to ask. No one can help me but myself. I shouldn't depend on everyone like I do. I need to share this with someone and get help. But I love cutting. I guess if I act "sane" then when school starts I can hide my cuts again b/c I'm not home as much. Too bad its summer and I'm expected to go swimming. I love it but I can't in the light of day b/c my parents will notice cuts. I don't know where to cut b/c my legs and wrist are always visible. I tried on my feet but it just tickles. What about my hips. I guess I could. I'm scared b/c I don't want to make my parents disappointed in me for this. I said I'd stop and I'm sitting here trying to find a way to hide it. God I suck...--