Sometimes I think what is life really about. If I don't live happily what am I here for? For people to talk shit about me and my friends. For me to pick new friends over old ones. Since I understand them better. I'm getting to a place I hate to stay. Where I like ♥Dean♥ so much I can't stand anyone else being around him. I get like this and then usually I get hurt and ignored. Damn. It does always happen though. With Matt I was just falling in love with him then he broke my ♥. On a offline message on yahoo messenger. I was so hurt since I had just fell in love. I've never been in love with a gurl. Too complicted. Gurls don't know what they want. Eps. Whitney. Although she's my gurl. lol. I think she's still with Adam anyway. I don't think I'll date her again. I don't know why it just seems old. Its in the past. Maybe if she could change and be more open I could. I still like Dean. Or I'm starting to. It seems werid to me b/c I never thought I would like him. I even wrote in here that I didn't really like him. Damn it I'm getting too deep. I even wrote him that poem. ("Can it be?" entry) I meant it too. It was from the heart. Sharon told me that ♥Dean♥ was a jerk and she would find me someone else. So I'm pretend I don't like him around her. But she knows we're friends. She doesn't know....(Hey ♥Dean♥ almost forgot you were going to read this oh well..) that I really like him like I do. Which I really don't know exactly how much I like him. I just need to get over it and give up on love. No one can ever love me..... I drew more Mr.Blobmans ♥and♥ Mrs.Blobwoman and a blobkid. lol. I'm going to create a comic strip. 20 ways Mr.blobman can commit suicide. lol. That should be fun. Me, Kelly, and James are going to go into the shirt creating business. We have good ideas for shirts. lol. I'm never going to be happy.--