I seem not to be able to gain any weight but I hating eating so much. I'm scared when I start weight training it will start again. I'm so scared I'll just go down in weight and die. And I'm watching Sharing The Secret on Lifetime and this woman said she had anorexia for about 2 or 3 years and now she can't have kids. And I had it for about 2 1/2 years and I'm scared I won't be able to have children even if I want to. I'm so scared. I'm terrified of myself, being alone in my room, I'm scared of cutting anything with a sharp knife, I'm scared to workout, I'm scared to go to the bathroom for a long time, I'm scared of the scales, I'm scared of being around people, and I'm scared of my depression it has ruined my life. I surround myself with my book Prozac Nation, water bottles, and cigarettes hoping I won't be hungry anymore. Help me... I'm so scared that no one cares or sees that I'm really falling apart. I can't even cry anymore all my eyes do is water up and I can't get the tears to fall out. What is wrong with me?--