Kill me right now

Today I felt so bad I felt like crying every second of the day. Even Josh asked me what was wrong. I just feel empty and I am really upset about daddy. He acts like he just wants to die and that hurts b/c I'm selfish and want him to see me grow up so I can have him. He makes me want to give up right now. I know I'd be nothing if it wasn't for him. So would mom. He's protected us and gave us everything we needed. I don't want him to die. I have decided I won't be happy until I get the fuck out of here. I want just to go to New York and start over. So no one will know me but Katie and I'll work on dead people and hide everything. I don't want to be this way anymore. I don't want to date girls and I don't want to be depressed. I just want to be normal. No more sharing my poems. I just don't want to share anything anymore. I'd still fuck a girl but I'll never date one again. I'm done with this bullshit. I'm fucking done with being sad. If I am sad I won't tell anyone why or anything about it. Forget everything.-- *Check out the lyrics to Clever Meals by Tegan and Sara. It's so true to me. This song is almost meant for me. I feel it in my heart.
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I really dont know what to say that would help you. But if you feel that you are going to start over think things through, you dont what things to repeat themselves again. I really dont talk to my dad that much, maybe thats why I can't say anything about him, just that he looks out of me now. But dont give up, even tough u might think things r bad, there is always a way out, you just have to look for it.

@}- Love, Huges, and Kissess =D
Thanks for the help. I really got it now. At least it didnt take me an hour to put my picture as a comment. =D

@}-
i dont know u, but stay strong :-/..things will get better...I think....
[Anonymous]