I just want to be happy. I need new pants. I look like I'm melting away. All of my pants are too big for me. I've lost so much weight. I just want to be healthy. I'm counting calories and shit. I'm working out more. I feel like a old woman. I'm so scared about graduating. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to make it. My life is planned out but what if I can't do it or I'm not good enough. Shit. Jeff is still in jail and I'm kinda getting my heart in this time. He is my bio father so of course I love him. But damn. I care too much.--