July 2 2004 2:20 am "Dead Angel" Awaken my beautiful angel, Take me in your arms, Saving me from this world, Healing the marks that cover my body, Giving me the strenght to cry, Drying the tears I could never cry, Making the blood disappear, The joy you bring, I float away knowing someone cares, Shield me from everything that hurts, The freedom I deserve, While you awaken from your death. "Pain" Falling apart, Ripping at the seams, Trying to get close to you, Breaking off, Giving up, Soon being nothing to remind you, Shutting down, Crying some, To be the thing you hate once again, Cutting skin, Bleeding out, The pain you can not see. I've been writing a lot lately. I'm glad I have something to take my time up. Maybe if I keep writing I won't feel a need to cut myself. I dunno. It might work for a while but nothing seems to work with me. I fail at everything. Besides writing. I show emotions well. I guess if I could write poems all day I wouldn't have time to cut. I want to believe this so badly. And this "FREE" on my hip is a lot of reason why I think its time to quit. The ink isn't going away and it might scar. I have a few scars already from cutting. One or two on wrist that I don't think is going away and the deep cut on my thigh. And "free" on my hip bone that might leave a scar. I hope I can overcome this. Its hard and overwhelming but I think I can do it. Or atleast limit the amount I cut. I might not get the thought out of my head forever but I can try for now.--