The world is filled with unspoken or unfinished thoughts. Some feel like they could stop the strongest wind others feel like that wind as you're waiting to be tore down from it. Expressing thoughts is as dangerous as not expressing them. I've been raised where I speak what I think but I learned myself to keep my feelings sacred. As if the world felt my pain it might just end. I don't want others to feel pain as I have. Through poetry and art I've learned to express them without speaking. I am just a silent artist. And my heart, only my canvas. My mind, only shaping clay. My words, cut like my skin once was. All these random thoughts of nothing. No end as there is no beginning. Inspiration in guilt. Life time of thinking there was too much pain and now not enough. The blood one craves to drink is what I crave to drip from my cuts. The scars disappearing want to be remade as more. Deeper and wider than ever imagined. Only nothing be me will hold me back. My yesterday will no longer scream my name. The moon will never crack and the sea is no more red than my sheets. Stained with my essences. My shadow is weeping. For it only knows the truth of me. What is inside myself. So close to my heart and never my mind for my mind holds too many truths. Heart bleed only black. Dying out and no more suffering. Suffer as you die away from me. No blood I can touch needing just to feel the new cut which aren't there. I will never plainly say it and mainly I don't care. Say never that I cut. Cut I never say. Never say I cut. Thats an idea. But what will my one say. That I could do better, that one could if one wanted, I need to just quit as I started again, or just keep it up. Losing this would be everything lost. Nothing gained. Thoughts running through my head I dare not think like this. Am I normal? Do I want to be? I need to express every little slice of my pain. Out for no one in the world to see. No one looks and I only touch myself. Nothing real touching me. Nothing I can recognize. Nothing vaild. Nothing alive inside. Nothing that seems.....real. Emotional scars lasting my whole life. One thought over and over. Why do I crave all of this? The cutting, emotional scarring, food problems, scarred heart and twisted soul. Twisted souls like clouds with so much pain.