June 5 2004 7:56 pm I went to grandma's house got my hair cut. And I got another guitar pick for my necklace. I got just a few low layers. I'm going to Sharon's sister in law to get some highlights in my hair. Or just red tips. For some reason I felt different today. Before I got my hair cut of course. I had a chance to swim with my two younger girl cousins and I remembered I couldn't b/c of my cut. I can't explain it to them. They already know I'm gay I don't want them to think I'm crazy too. Although I'm not at all. But they're 12 and 9 so you know they wouldn't understand completely and hell I can't even explain it fully to my friends. So I just didn't want to get into it with them. I walked a lot today and they made me feel so tired. Why am I so tired now days? Damn depression. lol. I got two shirts today and some bracelets. I need more games for my gameboy advance b/c mario gets on my nerves. I keep playing the same thing over and over again. grrr...I should just get new games. But I have no money. I want to go to the pawn shop to get used cds and old playstation 1 games. Hey its cheap and I'm a little low on money. I need a job yea something else to keep me busy and drive me insane. I eat a lot more than I did. Mostly all of the damn time. I don't care but I know I won't get fat. If I do it will just make the problem worse. I feel much better that I got my hair cut. But I can't do something like that just to make me feel better. This is why I really hate feeling this way. I'm surprised I can sit here this long since I haven't took my meds yet. I just can't think right. But other than that I feel ok. Maybe thats why I felt different and have been eating a lot today b/c I didn't take my meds. Oh darn. lol. I'm either tired or bored. I hate that I can only get online once a day. That sucks ass. Blah! Oh well.--