Too dumb to run, Too dead to die.-- I'm so sad. I cried in 3rd block and just a little while ago. Memories that are coming back are killing me one tear at a time. I can't stand it. I feel so sad. But I can't cut like I want to. I'm trying to not do that anymore. Or just not as much. I need someone to be close to. Someone to take away the pain. Dean and me are together now. It doesn't feel different but ok maybe a little different. I'm still sad though. Damn whats wrong with me? Maybe I'm just scared. Too scared to love. I could love in this dying world but the simple word love has died and went away. I hate myself. I've never loved me thats why I feel like no one can love me.... I feel so broken when I think someone loves me. The caring should be great but it looks like I like it more when I'm treated badly b/c I'm used to that.--