Waa. I just wrote this entry and it was really long and had all of these interesting things about my life and I promised to myself that when I got to the end I would copy and paste in on word pad so if It doesn't save I can copy it back on and without thinking I just hit save and right after realized my mistake and to my dissatisfaction it didn't save and I couldn't go back to it because I was logged out and now, I am so out breath and I have this huge lump in my through and am so ANGRY! If Dominic came and knocked on my door to give me a kiss I would slam it in his face. OKay I feel better. Now that I think of it I would kiss him then slam it. *sniffles* I will now begin my entry over again and try to remember wut I wrote because it was really great...*thinking* OKay now that I think about I wouldn't kiss Dominic. I would slam the door in his face and then when he knocked again I'd slam it again...and again...and again...okay I feel better. okay after slamming it so much I'd kiss him. OKay let me begin Merry (day after) Christmas. Yes it is the worst day of the year. No I will have to wait a whole year to get more presents. :-( Well it seems liek there were less presents than normal and everyone just gave up on X-mas 2004. I love this Christmas though. I got to see Sophia who wrote the last entry (My Daaarling). I wrote in the other entry that didn't save *anger consumes me* *deep breath* *now calm again* anyway I wrote that I'd leave her an entry on her diary but I changed my mind because I am too ANGRY! I mean... So my Mom you see gives us the best presents because I have time to remind her of what I want. I got an antiskip CD walkman cuz my other one is messed up. I got two CD's that I really wanted. Simple PLan and Ashlee Simpson and I'm happy. Well, I'm still angry about...you know but I am happy about the whoel Christmas thing. Yay Christmas, Happy Birthday Jesus. Anyways I am listening to Crazy by SP on repeat. I love all of these lovely songs. Tell me what's wrong with society? Where everywher I look I see Rich guys driving big SUV's While kids are starving in the streets No one cares No one likes to share :-( I guess life's unfair Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna save me? Can anybody tell me what's going on? Tell me what's going on? If you open your eyes You'll see that something is wrong Good Song Yea so way back in September when my computer plop dead dropped and I had nothign to do I picked up my Bible, adn well I read it. I am now at Deuteronomy chapter 28. I know pathetic but It's hard staying faithful when I don't go to church. I'll talk about that later but you see at my public school everyone makes me feel strange when I say even once that I read the Bible. I'm not saying I dont read because I wanna appeal to everyone but not going to churhc makes it worse. My bible is devotional and I wrote my won devotion. Here it is: A Devotion By Me There are times where I am praying at night and I tell God that I just don't understand how some people can go through life without something as great as our Lord to believe in. Ever since I started reading the Bible I found myself thinking of this subject a lot. One night I realized that if every Christian in this world was wrong and there was no God or Jesus Christ (which I highly highly doubt) then it would mean the worst thing ever. Nothing to believe in means when you die, you're dead and that's it. There would be no heaven, no seat next to God waiting for you. My heart would break in half and Christians would be crying for days. Stubborn scientists that we call foolish (who say the world was created by a Big Bang and all things were made by evolution) we would have no choice but to believe. No protection would come when we cry out and no good would come of obeying one another if there was nothing to believe in. If is what we have to remember. That's if there was no God. But that's not the truth. God is real. We have a living God who shares his never-ending forgiveness and that is the thing I am most grateful for. That the scientists are wrong and that this life we live is one of the best gifts we can get from our Lord, our God. We can share in the thankfulness that Christ the Lord died on the cross for our sins, rising from the dead days later, being seen by hundreds. We have to remember how great our God is and how forgiving and loving he is. I myself am thankful for life and all it has to offer. The Worst Thing In History: The Crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The Best Thing In History: The Crucifixion of Jesus Christ. I'm thankful for him making his journey through life on Earth and dying for our sins. I will forever be thankful for that and so much more. Yea so I do think about that fact a lot. Now to the church factor. You see I was baptized at a Greek church and my evil stepmom, Traci says it would be sin to go to anyother church. My Mom and Sophia say that's not true and that's what I've always thought. My Mom baptized us there to fit in with the family but they still hated her I guess. :-( Anyways, I wanna go to Sophia's Christian churhc and youth group. I've been there several times and I love it. The perfect kind of church with the worship and the songs and the conversations in englsih (not greek). I keep thinking if I ever persuade my famiyl to go to that church that everyone will dismiss the idea because it would be "bad" to go to church with Sophia being there because it would mean I wouldn't be really listening to the priest or something. That's not true. I will now write a little poem stating how I feel. I'm lost in my thoughts In my dreams as I search For my future, I sought To be going to church Wow that was nice. So anyways. I wanna go to church. It will keep my faith up. :-D I guess I'm not as into LOTR anymore. I hate to admit it. I still love the story of it and the charcaters and everything but that has just flown over my head. I have new priorities. LOTR may seem dorky to many but I sitll believe it is a great story. Lij and Orli I haven't thought of for a while. Ever since last February when one day I just thought "Hey Dom you Sexy Beast" I haven't been able to get him out of my head. For almost a year now I have been dreaming of him (literally) and I have to say I have concluded him sadly as my favorite actor. Okay I can't help but feel bad about my slamming the door in his face. This time aroudn if Dominic wanted to kiss me I'd let him do so much more. That's how much I've healed since my recent angry moment. :-D If your being faithful and still reading about my hopeless life than I am very proud of you. Very proud that you didn't just read my entry or creative title but you actually tookt he time to read this from head to toe. You get a reward. Yippee. Here it is: You've won this verse And you've earned the most And I love that you are loyal Through and through, coast to coast Wow that sucked! :-O Geez...Your Welcome. Okay I have done my best to remember everything I have talked about and although my other entry was more detailed and funnier and more exciting this pretty much covers the good stuff. Love You All! -Vanessa *Everybody's screaming. I try to make a sound but no one hears me. I'm slipping off the edge. I'm hanging by a thread. I wanna start this over again. So I try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered and I can't explain what happened and I can't erase the things that I've Done. No I can't...*-Simple Plan,Untitled