i've had a lot to think about lately. i've been watching people leave my life and even those who i thought were far gone feel like they're leaving all over again. sometimes i have to remind myself to feel the loss. it's strange. everyone in my life seems to be showering me with options, so many i don't know what to think anymore. my teacher wants me to research schools outside of maine, outside of new england. i didn't want to consider those schools. they're so far away. kenyon. chicago. stanford. whatever. i'd only want to go that far away if i was bringing someone with me. like valerie or jake. or everyone. i can't take it. i have a year.