Feeling strange lately, don't really know where it is I belong. I don't lack motivation, I just lack energy at the time being, and given all that I've been putting up with and balancing for the past three months, I doubt anyone can really blame me.

It's frustrating to see that all of the problems in my life (or some of the greater ones) are rooted in the lack of money. It's scary to look into the future and not see where I will be or my mom. I can feel a lot of fights clouding my future, a lot of screaming and misunderstandings.

I wish that my mother would see what she is doing. It's obnoxious, it's pathetic, it's depressing, it's dangerous, it's selfish, and it's fake.

At night time I miss him and when I wake up, I don't, and so I've decided that I won't do anything until I feel the same when I sleep and when I wake.