i think too much. but one of the things i have learned about you is that you have trouble accepting things. in particular, anything that you do not want or like, anything that you feel has hurt you beyond repair. i don't think that you refuse to accept these things out of any selfishness because i really do still believe that you are one of the most generous and selfless people i have ever known in many ways. it's a fact that you hold grudges like no other though, and you victimize yourself not for attention but simply because you're sensitive and when you get hurt, you can't move on. what scares me most is that this aspect of your personality, this part of who you are is strong enough to keep you from saving me from myself at the times that i need you most.