yesterday, the feelings i had in the middle of the night slipped into today. i feel the same emotions and i hope they stay with me forever. i think i'm understanding this whole phenomena better now than i thought i was before. strangely enough, nick actually helped me in realizing this? ha, i guess i shouldn't undermine his mental capacity. i'm feeling pretty good about this. i want to hint my feelings but hold on to them until the moment is right. i hate how stress and depression make these feelings fall apart. i want to trust that i can always find a way to discover them even when they're lost to me, because i have my bouts of confusion and skepticism. i just need to let it all go.