i felt happy again. i still do. i may be groggy and confused and scared at the moment, but it's a fact that last night, i was happy. it shocks me. i never knew it was possible, and it is. i've grown used to no one believing in us anymore. everyone just rolling their eyes at us, telling us to give up, and announcing that they've stopped seeing us as a couple. i don't care what anyone thinks. those who know me best know that it's not over, and that it was never over. i don't even think about the past anymore. i only think of the good moments, and i don't even need to try. it comes naturally to me. sometimes i fear that i'm in some kind of temporary denial that will one day disappear and leave me victim to my harbored feelings and harmful memories. but then i think about it again, and i realize that i am grateful to have found the power to just put it all behind me.