i hate it when i cry. seriously though, i do it too much. i cry when i get really stressed out or when im overwhelmed with emotion, usually negative emotions. believe it or not i rarely ever feel that far away from my best friends despite the fact that we dont live anywhere near eachother, each in a different city. but when i do, i can't help but let my feelings out in the form of tears. its painful and miserable. i have bad luck and have nearly completed my transformation from a proud optimist to a pathetic pessimist against my will. life passes so quickly. i remember last year as though it was yesterday, and i know it's cliche, but there's a reason why it is. its so true. i feel like i am constantly wasting my time. there are so many possibilties. i can do anything i want, anything i set my mind to (i know, more cliches.) but why do i feel like thats all just a myth? lately, i've just been feeling trapped. sometimes i wished i lived far away. sometimes i wish i lived in a different year. perhaps the 1800s, when the world wasn't so industrialized, and untouched beauty could be found just around the corner, i wouldn't have to go hunting for an isolated forest or a huge field of green grass with the blue, cloudless sky hanging overhead. i think everyone has a moment when all they want to do is roll around on soft grass with someone, far away from any civilization, forever. sometimes, i wish i could take everyone in the world that i love and care for, put them all in a spaceship and we could all take a rocket to the moon. for the rest of our lives we could simply float and breathe, that's right, in my mind, you can breathe anywhere you want. for the rest of our lives we would all remain suspended above the dusty surface with the earth illuminating the solemn darkness of our surroundings. we'd look down and wonder what everyone is doing: living, dying, breathing, crying. and then we'd all point and laugh-"look at them down there! strange and miserable, naive and ignorant. don't they know that happiness is lighting their skies at night? all they need to do is breathe."