i'm afraid to be with you only because i'm afraid it will be painful. sometimes, you seem to me like a bomb ready to explode. other times, you're like a boulder, impossible to budge. so impossible, it's insulting. i do not know whether i am the answer to your problems or a tease. i am trying my hardest to help you, but i feel rejected, and even the times when you remind me i'm not, i feel that i am, maybe not from you personally. but in every other sense of the word. like i just don't belong here anymore, by your side. i do not help or hurt. i am just here. already, i'm growing tired of having to pick you up. i'm trying my hardest to not be insensitive or selfish, but sometimes i feel like you are. if you need me, please listen to me. i'm tired of telling you the same things every night and day. if you don't want to take my advice, then stop calling upon me for it. i love you, but i'm tired.