there has been so much on my mind lately. im not going to lie, for a while i wasn't sure how i felt about a few people. i said things that i will never tell others, but i meant it when i said he didn't have to worry. i make these decisions on my own, and if my thinking process or the things that were on my mind would offend him to hear about (which they would) then he's not going to hear about them. it would only worry him for no reason. i really value my friendship with these people. i adore all of my friends. i'm not ever going to be meant to feel guilty for adoring them so much i don't want to hurt them. all week, people were saying to me "this is why you need to go tell him how you feel. tell him to stop." but no one understands how hard that is for me. it has given people the wrong idea about me. many think i'm full of myself now and egotistical. my feelings are hurt, but i know the truth. i just hope those who really know me see it too. as for us, i don't know how it's going to end. another break will hopefully be worth it. i need time. ahh so much time. he understands, but he is so impatient. im praying that he can and we can make this break count. when i need to get away from him, i hope he understands.