like he said, it's all about a choice. play the victim or take responsibility. i'm not ever going to be ashamed for my outlook on life, and i will never let anyone make me feel insecure or less than for the way that i do things or for the things that i have made the choice not to do and have been firm on. and you you have no reason to envy me. everyone has their own unique abilities. stand up and take responsibility, believe in yourself and you will see all that you can do. plus, i really do not like how your unfortunate emotions force you to not want to speak with me. if you are genuinely worried that you are distracting me, don't worry! i have made it this far despite everything i've ever had to deal with. you are a big part of my life, but what i do or don't do is ultimately my fault or doing. don't worry. i love you.