the most perfect and happy of situations always seem to go wrong. i know that we're completely over labels, but it kind of saddens me that this single word seems to tease our brains and manipulate our hearts. we feel the way we feel and word can't change that let alone express it. i'm sorry that i get caught up in a slump sometimes. it's hard for me to recover. and i try, but i get stuck. i'm glad you were happy. i really was too. i had a great time. i just got distracted sometimes by the flashbacks of your words. i know you don't even know what you're saying. i just wish that you were struggling to tell me some good feelings like you used to rather than stumbling over the complexities of your aversion to me. you want me to be understanding, but i don't want to have to understand the sad parts of your mind, especially the ones that lead to your kicking me in the heart again. i love you. you often make yourself out to be the innocent one, "just trying to tell me how you feel", when you think you're being attacked by me. but i'm not ever attacking you. i'm just trying to tell you how i feel too. it's give and take. you don't have to tell me what's on your mind if you get offended by my own words. i really put effort into understanding you, and talking to you helps me do that, but you seem to think that my responding to your thoughts in any way is an attack. any questions, any reply, any "tone of voice" sets you off and you just conclude that i'm jumping on you for saying how you feel. i think it's your turn to be a bit more understanding. you're not as easy to deal with as you think. i love you forever.