once again, i'm confused about how i feel. i keep reminding myself, thoughts become things. i just need to feel how i feel. but things get to me, bad memories become my state of mind and i forget how even a week ago, i was in deep. it can't be possible for my feelings to change so often. i don't even think they really change. it's more like they fade and then intensify and then fade again and so on. two weeks ago i would have said yes. there's no doubt. i'll always remember how that night felt. perfect.