there is an intense lifetime movie on right now. anyways, i have work to do as always. i have an essay to write. discuss the rhetorical development of the author's message and blah blah blah. i'm sick of rhetorical analysis. i have vocabulary assignments to complete and some pre-cal homework. i also need to take a shower. last night i realized how different jake and i are. at least when we argue. not until last night did jake get a taste of how i am when i've got a lot to say. i think i hurt his feelings just by telling him what's on my mind. i provoked him to hang up on me and he did. he said his feelings were hurt, i pissed him off, and he got off the phone because he didn't want to freak out on my and say something he'd regret. we have completely different outlooks on arguments. i say, just say what's on your mind. whether you'll regret it later or not shouldn't matter because in the moment, you feel what you feel. it'd be a waste of time to sit and regret every horrible thing i said to someone when i was angry because a person needs to realize that whatever was once said was what that person was once feeling. that's a good enough reason to accept the past and move on. im not afraid to say how i feel. it's healthier than just trying to bottle it and spare feelings. i can't do that. he needs to be more realistic. i'm tired of trying to talk to him, asking him questions and all he can say is "i don't know" or "kinda". everything he says is so vague and ambiguous. he needs to be more straightforward with me.