wow, i just wrote the longest email to sophia about my insecurities and the things that im trying to do to up my confidence. it was lengthy and ambiguous. i want to be a writer. ive been told im good at it, but i dont believe that. in my opinion, i am best at writing deep, thought provoking, and interesting concepts, emotions, or ideas. i cant really write well unless i am inspired or feeling creative. its unfortunate but most of my creativity thrives on my negative feelings. when i am feeling down about something, im able to write the weirdest and yet, ironically, the most intricate and precise metaphors or analogies to describe my feelings. i wish i could write something interesting without something deep to inspire me. does the fact that i need to feel a certain way when i write make me a better, destined-to-be writer or a wannabee, lacking-talent sort of writer? did that question even make sense? hmm, it makes sense to me, i guess.