we don't argue that often. or when we do, it's really strange, not really an argument. more like a silence. and then he wants to get off the phone because he doesn't like the silence. and then i get offended because i think he's furious at me or doesn't want to talk to me anymore. but i dont want to force him to talk to me, so i say okay, let's get off the phone. and then he gets offended and we just keep sitting there saying okay let's get off the phone. okay. let's get off the phone. okay. call you later. okay. okay. but neither of us want to go. why do we do that? i think both of us are afraid of the situation. we don't want it to be something bad, but we're not honest about our feelings and they seem hidden on both sides. im going to try to be more honest, maybe to soak up the silence. hopefully it wont result in hurt feelings. i love him so much. i dont want to hurt him, but he's sensitive. i hope he can understand the weird and almost sadistic way i'd rather argue with my words and volumes than sit in a silence that kills minutes and leads way to strange, confused, torturous thoughts. i hate sitting there thinking...is he going to say something, or what? now im just going to say things. and i usually apologize. but from now on, i'll do it sooner. really soon. i'll be the first. i'll tie up the loose ends before they even come unraveled.