that was probably the best birthday i had in a long time, if not ever! though the one i had last year was pretty good too. i'm glad everybody had such a good time.

there was something jake said at one point that left me speechless, and not in a good way. i felt bad and i didn't know what to say. i worry sometimes about what he told me. but all i want is for him not to think that his unique personality is a curse or something. i didn't say anything though because it wasn't the time or place for me to tell him what i thought. other than that, i'm really happy with the way things are going. it seems like things just get better and better, at least in that part of my life.

my mom's a different story. dealing with her is so exhausting. jake was like a savior friday night when he took me out on the town and i didn't need to deal with her anymore. but i don't want to go there. i had a great night.

i'm excited for the rest of the school year. some of my classes changed and now i'm doing a few independent studies that i'm really excited about. i have about four books i need to read right now, which is a little overwhelming on top of everything else but i'm practicing my time management and it's going pretty good even though i fell asleep while reading today.

lately i've been doing a lot of things that are outside of my comfort zone and almost subconsciously i'm realizing all that i'm capable of. lately i've just been so apt to say, no worries, which could be a good and a bad thing. but mostly, i'm just taking advantage of any motivation i have as well as giving in to moments of relaxation, not sweating the small stuff.

as for things like new years resolutions, i really didn't have any, not because i have nothing to change but because i dont want to put pressure on myself to change multple aspects of my life at once. i've already decided on doing monthly resolutions. and simple ones too, all the little things that people don't normally think to change but make differences. and i'm not too hard on myself if i don't succeed right away or in the end. at this point, my life is a series of experiments. i'll find what works best for me.