my life is difficult to describe at the moment. i'm busy as usual but at the same time, i feel as though i'm not doing anything but waiting. my mind is on so many things:

my friends, how they are, what they care about, which ones matter or which ones i matter to

my family, how my mom is holding up, how well she will hold up, praying no one else will die though the tally is three at the moment.., wondering how my dad is, wondering what my dad did with my money, etc. (this list never ends)

my boyfriend, how he is, wondering if he resents me.., wondering what will happen to us, hoping we can reach some sort of understanding, hoping he won't stop talking to me when i leave.. :(

my body, my classes, my future, my possessions, my habits, myself, my income, etc.

i'm not exactly worrying about any of these things. just thinking about them. just speculating. and like i said, waiting.