I missed the day. It went by completely without me. I didn't realize it until today, when I was looking through my old journal entries from this date last year. The 18th. It was the 18th. And I hadn't even known it. Taking a look on my past was strange. My life is running patterns and I don't like it. I'm going to check back to that old journal a lot now to see the trends in my moods. It's strange though because my schedule was the same last year. AIMS testing, ABODA Festival for band, the same thing I'm doing now. Today was a see-saw. Highs and lows. The AIMS was a waste of time. I wrote the stupid essay in less than an hour and spent the rest of the time passing notes with Kaylin about softball. Softball, btw, was a bitch today. Lindy was TOO much of a captain and Chelsea was hardly a captain at all. Kaylin and I (I.E. The Great Bambino and Bambi -I'm Bambi) did hitting together and we rocked. We both looked pissed at the world and hit some awesome line drives. Anyway, I've little to say about today. It was another "I'm happy, no, wait, I'm really sad" type days. Bambino killed my finger today during warm-ups. Hurt like a mofo, shook it off, and went back to throwing. I guess the point in saying that is, no matter how great the pain, I always seem to throw myself right back in harms way. I'm holding back and one day I'll let go. Just not today. Not today. Talked to Adam, kind of. He was being evasive. I give up. Not worth my efforts. Moving on. (I'm getting the hang of this concept, I think). Carrie