Do you ever leave something for a short period of time and come back to find everything different? Like you turned your back for a moment and in that single moment, everything changed? I've been gone for a week, but that week of absense and simultaneous existence has completely re-arranged my life to begin my senior year. I'll start this out slow. "This one time at band camp" has made everything better. I am finally beginning to feel like a drum major and, wouldn't you know it, I just might have discovered a lasting relationship. This is as slow as it gets. Slight flirtations only; making a small effort to be near each other, occassional glancing and locking of eyes, and a tighter hug good-bye. I know what you're thinking--what's the problem and what makes him so different from the others? The catch is that he currently has a girlfriend (who, by the way, isn't aware of this title)and the chance that if anything goes wrong between us, things might become extremely awkward. What makes him so different...hard to explain, maybe because I don't really know yet. My fortune cookie had read that good fortune was in my near future, so all I can do now is cross my fingers and wait, hoping that everything will work out the right way. Oh yes, and the other catch, I still haven't forgotten about Mike and he still hasn't forgotten about me. we hung out last night and the confusion was still in the air, the question still between us. What is he going to do? And then, what am I going to do? I fear I am putting too much trust in Fate, but maybe this once she will do me right. The radio changed; my favorite station sounds different. I can't listen to the Format without picturing the boys room, lying in the dark next to him and listening to Paul snore away. I put in my Edwin McCain CD earlier and Your Crying Shoulder was on it, unbeknownst to me, and I immediately thought of Friday night's dance and our goofy drift dancing around the dance floor. Amy and Justin hooked up on the trip, a surprise to all of us, even to them. And I saw a shooting star tonight, rare and incredibly bright. Lucky someone had directed my attention to the moon, or I never would have seen it. Hopefully my wish comes true. Now I am exhausted and have to be at school in 6 hours for my schedule, then work, then an evening of band camp. And wouldn't you know it, school starts next week. Summer is almost gone and I can honestly say that I very much enjoyed it and did everything I had planned on doing. Well, except for my English summer reading. Needless to say, I'm screwed. Oh, speaking of school, during the trip we sang a lot (lots of choir kids in band) and they all asked me if I was in choir and then proceeded to tell me that I ought to be. So, I might have a talk with Mrs. T and see about joining the choir. Funny, non? On a closing note, I can't ignore a dream I had one night at camp. In the most vague descriptions (thought the dream its self was very vivid), Orion found me. He came to the camp, lead singer of a band, and when all the girls screamed and crowded him, I stood back and he came to me. We talked and laughed, but we never exchanged names and somehow I knew it was my soul mate. I woke up and tried to sort it out; the band, the camp, the fire, (the dream ended with the camp burning down and Megan, Him, and I were helping people out. We were crossing the lawn when the sprinklers went on and I knew that what the sprinklers were shooting out was gas and that it was going to blow-up; woke up before the ending, before I could find out if we made it out in time)and I couldn't sort it out. But now I realize one thing: His name was Orion. I remember looking at the freckles on his arm and wondering about the constillation. Strang how I think of it now. The keyboard feels wonderful again, I'm afraid that's why I've written so much about so little. I can't live without a diary, I know that now, after begging for paper from people because I actually thought I could go a week without writing anything down. I have so much on my mind right now and the only way to clear it is by writing it, so I am afraid I am not done here, I am simply putting this on pause for tonight because it's been a long one and like previously said, I have to be at school in 5 hours. So, until tomorrow, pleasant dreams. Carrie PS- I see no one commented on the story clip. Was it that horrible or too long to read?