I am never niave to the actions of those around me. I am atuned to the accomplishments of my friends. I am, subconciously, aware of media images in all forms. And, for today, I have a renewed understanding for the value of life and how little time we actually have--but that is, of course, misleading. People have lots of time on earth. On average, about 80 years of it; app. 29,200 days. That's a lot of time. But not much of it is actually used to our personal benefit. Motivational speakers might say that it's all about time management. But I don't believe that will really solve anything because, if you've noticed the trend yet about all these gizmo's we've invented and continue on inventing that are designed to save us time, well, cutting down the time it takes to do one thing simply leaves another space in a day for another must-do thing. The real trick of it all is this: Making the want-to's into must-dos. And I don't say this to sound wise and knowledgable (let's not joke, I'm only 18), but as I look around me and realize that so-and-so has just finished writing a novel, and so-and-so is beginning a new career, and so-and-so has done this and that...well, after hearing of another's success, do you ever afterward then count your own? A day never leaves me satisfied with anything except a desier to turn-over a new leaf the next morning. Tonight I saw my grandmother, whose life expectancy is uncertain at this point (test results tomorrow will announce if the tumor on her spine is alone and can be removed, or if has spread and...and we will help with the pain.) I saw a breath-taking sunset as I was leaving her. A sunset that was impossible to believe that science along could explain its phenomena. Tonight I saw a movie--Million Dollar Baby--and briefly thought of my grandmother compared to Maggie, the girl in the film. Afterwards I looked at myself and thought a familiar thought I would extend to all the young and small adults: Your body now is everything you want it to be. It will make you leap and run and nearly fly. Nature gives us permission to do these things; I would hate for man's poor living to deny these opportunities to any one. With that thought, I ran up and down the stairs many times. I lifted weights and did sit ups. Minor things, really, just enough to get the heart pumping and break a sweat. But sometimes feeling out of breath is the best way to catch it, to get rid of that tired, lack of motivation feeling. The world is a scary place and if it hasn't appeared to be frightening yet, it will certainly spring its ugly head during and/or after college. And if the so-called 'real world' is waiting, I'd like to be looking and feeling my best--and that's said with the pure of heart. Carrie