Maybe I was wrong about some things, but I know I was right about everything in the long run. I knew that I'd be scared, that we'd all be stunned, and that some of us wouldn't care enough to tell the other how we're feeling. It's summer now and once again the winds are changing, blowing away the things I've grown to know and understand and sweeping towards me some unseen chances that I can barely feel against my future. I haven't talked to Kaylee in weeks. She never even signed my yearbook and, likewise, I never signed hers. She didn't ask me to. She didn't even say hello. I never saw us drifting until she became a little speck in my past. And Charlie? I don't know what to say about him. I'll ask for the jokes to stop because, quite frankly, I don't believe there were every solid grounds for them to begin. I'm not exactly giving up, I'm just waiting for the moment when he calls me and the time when we talk more than kiss. I need words, you know. I always need words, more than anything. And right now they seem to slip away so easily. I've been working on my novel, pounding and punching it, really. I keep having to remind myself to show the reader, don't tell them, and that's a bad thing. It's getting harder and harder to do. The ideas are there, evolving and growing, but the product always loses its worth when I shove it down on paper. I finally watched Water World and I'm momentarily obessed. It really is a horrible movie, to tell you the truth, but the Mariner intrigues me in the way that all freaks and geeks and outcasts do. But I like the idea of Water World, mock me all you will. Oh yes, graduation. Not much to say about that. I went, played the song, listened to the speeches, cheered for the names I knew, endured pictures, and went home in a strange mood. I hate the feeling of being unable to decide if you're happy or sad. I'd rather be one or the other, but to not know is downright frustrating. Today was clean-up the band room day. Mrs. French made her big announcement that she shall not be returning next year. I'm very disappointed, but I understand. My mom had a job with similar circumstances and I celebrated the day she quit, so I know Mrs. French did the right thing. So next year I get to start all over, again, and hope that our new director is a good one. So here it is again, the presence of summer. The days are getting warmer, cloudy as they are right now. It's still nice enough to drive with the windows down. I've got my rugged beach clothes on and at the end of every day my feet are black and dirty. By the end of the summer I'll be dark and tan. Tomorrow I think I'm going with Amy on her boat and then Thursday I'm going tubing. Lots of sunshine and goodness. Not to mention I'm still at Jackie and Tim's. I've been living there for almost a week now; I'm not sure I'll be able to come back home. It's so nice to have that freedom all the time. Not to mention the number of people who have come over, slept over, and what-not. Though, if you know me, you understand how happy I am just to have it all my own. All my own. One day I'll find something that really is all my own. Or someone. Preferably both. Well, have a great summer everyone. And if you're still in school...well, good luck with finals and all that horrible stuff I'm now done with. I intend to have a very eventful summer, so I might not be back here for a while. Or maybe it's just that I don't care about coming back here...At any rate, I'm here, in the sunshine state, soaking up another summer of innocence. Carrie