I have a short story due in my fiction writing class Wednesday night. Before tonight I hadn't really started on it and even what I have now I'm not sure I really love, but I suppose deadline will outweigh perfection. Last night in a desperate hour of need, I called home to have mom dig through my old word files on the desktop. She didn't find anything worth sharing (even with revisions), but I did remember a short story I had written a while back that could be edited if she could only find it. Since it was nowhere on the computer, I guided her to that cluttered shelf of destroyed rain forest in my closet where mounds of aged paper collect; poems, stories, novels, and drawings. The stack is overwhelming, as she'll tell you, and she didn't dig for very long. No sign of the story, I'm afraid I've lost it for good. It was called "The Shoe Peddler" and it was about a shoe peddler in Central Park who didn't sell shoes, but the experience of walking in someone else's. People put on a pair of shoes and fell into the life of the previous owner for a few minutes at the highlight of their wear; for a pair of cleats, it was a baseball player's big game, for example. I don't remember the fine details. Anyway, it wasn't too terrible of a story but now it's gone. Figures. Still hungry for inspiration, I began my own digging, to old journal entries. My goodness... I told mom that I'm happy I've saved so much. It gives me a chance to look back and see how much I've grown, matured, and genuinely loved writing. She agreed with me, laughing through the telephone wire as she discovered some of the dorky things I had done as a kid. Although some of what I read is embarrassing, sometimes even horrifically embarrassing, I'm glad it's there, reminding me where I've been. Well, that's a long enough break I suppose. I've decided for my short story to write about Sammy and his life with cancer, through his eyes. It's rough right now--too human--but as long as I can get the brickwork down, I can polish it later. Carrie PS- I noticed that I've got plenty of comments at the beginning of this thing, and a whole lot of nothing now. Have I really bored you all that much?