FYE: Freshmen Year Experience. Yesterday I got off work around 2; too late to catch most people for lunch, to early (I felt) to go back to Tempe. So I called Helen. It was nice to see her again, it had been a while, and I often worry now that our friendship might slip away through the cracks if we're not careful. I guess that's what happens when to friends of the same group split up. But Helen's too important to me to let slip away, so I call her and leave her voice mails and call again when she doesn't return my call. Annoying perhaps, but I don't believe she thinks of it that way. We talked about a lot of things, a lot of people. A bunch of the "Seniors" were going to a Hookah bar that night. Helen invited me. I had duty. But somewhere not too deep into our conversation of who is where and doing what, I realized that there is a difference between Us and Them. Kris and I discussed it further later that night. The difference between Us and Them is that We got away. We separated, however distant, however near. Kris went to Flagstaff. Andrew went to Minnesota. I went to Tempe. And Travis, well Travis went to SCC, but he also went off and did his own thing. They didn't. They stuck around, hung out with the same crowd, high schools posing as college freshmen. The only difference that occurred was the mentality that college kids can drink and smoke. And so they did. The drama still exists, the same childish silent treatments and awkward meetings still occur, they didn't change. They didn't have the FYE that rips you out of high school mode and pushes you over the threshold of adolescence and adulthood. That is not to say that we don't have fun and make crazy decisions. That is to say that we have honest fun and make intelligent choices. We know that this counts, this matters, and the things we do now affect where we'll be tomorrow. That might have come out of a graduation speech or from a poster in a guidance councilor's wall, but point blank, it's true. I know it's true because as I move forward into my career, I watch others live stagnant lives or slip backwards, receding into the No Goods. That might be pompous of me, perhaps, but I don't think so because they made those decisions. And it hurts to see them do it. I had the FYE. Lived in a new environment, among new people, a different crowd. Yes, I reflected on high school a lot in the beginning, longed to relive those days again, but the truth is, I thought about it less in the middle of the year and even less towards the end. And now, now they are fond memories but I've moved on. I've made space between us, High school and me. And so when I go back, it isn't just the school that's changed. Its the feeling. It isn't mine any more, nor do I wish it to be. None of it. But not them. They still live in it, no matter how much they say they don't miss high school. How can you miss something you never left?