Today marked the first day of classes for the fall of 05. I began the day with a fresh start by going to the gym, which proved to be exhausting as I think I have bored out my excitement of working out. After that, I took my second shower of the day and waited around for 12:40 to come by when I would attend my first class, where my roommate was already returning from her second. I wanted an earlier class, but all was full. Anyway, history wasn't so bad. The teacher seemed nice and I like her teaching methods. And now my day is pretty lax until around 7 when I have to treck to the end of campus for my dance class (something I'm really going to have to muster the energy for). I've had energy and exuberance up until this day, when all blatant realizations finally knocked me over the head. 1. I'm going to school. Not just living at a summer camp, but actually here, paying for homework and tests. 2. I'm living here. Not staying for a week or two, but actually calling and making this my residence. And finally, 3. Kris is very far away from me. I've come off as taking the situation light and well, but I think today it really just hit me that I haven't seen him--haven't been able to put my arms around him--in a week. I think today it really just came to me how much I really miss him. I was sitting on the foor in my room when someone knocked on the door and for a fleeting instant, I thought it was Kris. Ridiculous of course, but he was always surprising me like that. It turned out to be Alex, whom I was glad to see of course, but the two of us just sat down and talked about how much we miss our other halves. As for my friends... I've pretty much been spending the majority of my time with Alex, Zoobs, and Tanisha at night. It's hard for me to find friends here because it seems like everyone is flirting or wanting to party and drink, and that just isn't me. The last thing I want to do is change who I am to fit the college mold and have more "friends". I'm hoping some of the people I've met will be cool with me and just accept me for being a non-single, no-party kind of girl. But I simply refuse to change. In the past I tried to slip into that scene and I hated it. Being a college student isn't going to change that. ASU is really nice and I really like it here, it's just taking time to really feel like I'm home. I think I've been in denial these past many days, believing this was all just a summer camp and I would be returning to my life by today. And when I woke up today and realized that now I really had to stay, had to be places at certain times and follow a schedule and progress on my own...it was more than a little strange. I know I'm only 20 min. from home, but you know, the time it takes to get there really doesn't matter. 20 minutes, 3 hours, a whole plane ride away, the bottom line is that you are somewhere where home is not. On that note, if anyone feels the desire to write me or send me anything, my address is now 0060 McClintock Hall 903 South Forest Ave Tempe, AZ 85281-2034 I don't know what else to say--what else I CAN say--and yet I feel some large regret by ending this here. My computer is still waiting to be repaired and as such, I am without nearly everything--immediate contact to my friends, a shortcut to my email, a way to get back to all those stories that erupted over the summer...no writing for almost 2 weeks. To understand, it's like a smoker of 20 years quitting cold turkey; the craving is so bad it's almost painful. So today is the first day that I'm really not enjoying my self. It's been a long, hot, boring Monday that feels like it should be a Friday so I can go home later and see all the poeple I love. But I can't. And maybe later I'll get busy again and not think about these things so much, but I've definitely decided that I have to see Kris this weekend. After all, he's not just this guy I've been dating for a year now...he's also my best friend in the whole world, and neither relationship should go very long without a good, supportive hug. These cellular static "I love you"'s only go so far... Carrie