By Wednesday, the week is pretty much over. The stress is done by Tuesday, and Wednesday night is my last class except for French Friday morning. On Wednesdays I have almost two hours in the morning to puts around and at least two hours at night before my usual bedtime to puts around again. Of course, there's really no such thing as puttsing around in college (and if there is, you're talking to a poor college student) so really the options are work or procrastinate. But me, I like to call it giving my brain a break. I think that's part of the reason I've been journaling for so long. It's not just to have the history, but to let my mind unwind and sort itself. It's a place to dump my troubles so the load feels lighter. It's a spot to bury my memories so I won't lose them. It's daily closure. I've had a lot going through my mind these past couple of days. I've been stressing over my French class off and on. Mostly on. Took the midterm today. Oral Friday. We'll see. Spring Break is practically here and I have a lot on my agenda. I hope I can manage it all. I'll be here for a few days on duty before taking the trip to Cali. I'm really bummed Helen isn't coming. I'm going to be the only girl except for the short time when Crystal is there. But mostly I was just looking forward to spending that time with her, totally relaxed and able to talk for hours while the boys ran off to do their thing. And now a further reason I want her to go is to be with Andrew, as painful as it might be. I love Helen and I'll be at her side and support her in whatever decisions she makes, but I can't say I agree with what she's doing and I do feel like it's a mistake that will end up hurting her. So for that, I want her to be with us in Cali--with Andrew--to realize what she's giving up, and what she's giving it up for. In other news. Lots on the agenda. I have to scan all the clips I've gathered from the paper, post some stories on the Cronkite website, send photos for the RA banquet, create new door decs, make a bulliton board, and edit my short story to submit to a contest. Fun stuff! Jackie says I should start up a business on the side doing some freelance photography for people. It's not a bad idea really; get to do what I love, earn some pocket money, gather more clips, experience...I'm really considering it. I'm going to look into getting some new business cards. They come in handy. I might even talk to Nick about doing a website...At any rate, it's something to think about. I had a dream about Mackenzie the other night. At one point she was a little girl, maybe about 3, and she was talking to me and hugging me...it was the cutest thing and made me wake up with a smile. On the contrary, I've been having a lot of terrifying dreams lately with re-occurring themes of having to hide or fight and people coming. Very bizarre. Carrie