Although I'm not religious, make not a masquerader out of me, for in the middle of the last week, God had me on my knees. And for what reason, what cause, but to make me humbled enough to admit I was shaken and upset, ruffled by no abject of worry except the act of worrying, disillusioned only by the trickery of my own illusioned mind, and feeling cast-out by only my own willingness to be so. Crestfallen, sunk, drunk by my own sobs, that was the end to the first act. I made a phone call. Talked, thought, worked, checked things off the list and by and by I began to stand again. I do believe that we all get knocked down once and again just to prove that we can get back up, and to realize why we try to stand again. Friday was therapudic in its own way; accomplishments out-weigh defeat. Saturday, I sigh, a smile. Faint, but apparent, weak in the day and stronger by night as He and I turn out the light and let the jack-o-lanterns burn. We do better when we've had time, though from time to time I need a break, as any one does from a job or a game or life. Cooled, I came back in and we proceeded as if it had just been a blow of the whistle, water break, let's go. We ate, laughed, held hands, kissed with love and spoke like we meant it. Carving pumpkins while watching mystery...oh, we peculiar beings... Sunday early, off I went. Aggrivated by traffic, by road barriers and closures; just what I needed after a week of dissapointment; a highway full of red. But I arrived to the place calmed, smiling, took my seat and spoke and sang, and took my place in support, trying to remember what it felt like to Believe. Attempting to understand why they did. I am accepting of it, nonetheless. Kroy was confirmed. Large gathering for a celebration lunch, happiness and warmth filling the place inside me that days ago had been pregnant with depression. That's the way it goes, you know...You just have to understand that being sad is being sad, let it run its course like the common flu, soak in the presence of people who care about you, and eat up laughter like its chicken noodle soup. Now you see me crying, now you don't. The weekend finished with an afternoon film--a rarity; The Prestige. I enjoyed it immensely. I love the movies. I was sad to leave it all to return here, to Tempe, but another something-nice caught me here. I had to go to the radio station to finish a package and somewhere between cutting tracks and adding voice-overs, I realized I really enjoyed what I was doing for the first time since college began.