"He never said anything, but I think he made his peace with God." -Forest Gump Yesterday I had a much-needed breakdown. All the times I had shoved something away just gathered inside me, heavier and heavier. I just needed one little thing to set it off. It happened. I jammed/sprained/I-don't-know-what during practice and it hurt a lot, and that little pain triggered something inside me. I wanted to cry, not because of the pain, but because of so many other things. But I had to hold out through practice. We got to listen to the varisty "stick-up-his-ass" couch tell us how to arrange the equipment in the shed. I understand the desire to stay organized, but he was just being obsessive compulsive about it and pissed me off. I got away from the field as soon as I could, got into my car, put my hands and my head on the steering wheel, saw the picture of my grandpa, and broke down right then and there. The drive home was a blurry one. The moment I thought I had my tears under control, something would trigger them and I'd start up all over again. I hurried through the front door, shut myself in my room, and just bawled for a good 20 minutes. I don't know, maybe it's a girl thing, but it felt so good to just cry. My mom came in and kinda freaked out until I explained to her that I just needed to cry. Then we had mexican food and fried ice cream. The whole night I was fighting tears. Today was less dramatic. It was cold and rainy all day long. I was hoping the game would get canceled. It didn't. Took my math test (I had gone for help yesterday, which calmed me down a lot). Don't know how i did and I don't want to jinx it. Anyway, drove to Sunnyslope where the only slope was the hill onto the trackfield and the only sun was a period of 40 seconds when it poked through a dark cloud and blinded us all. It was actually a really cool game. It started raining in the second inning and only got worse from there. In the fifth inning we had ten runs and they had none (softball only has seven innings and there's a thing called a ten-run-rule where, in the fifth inning, if one time is winning by ten runs, the game is called). So, fifth inning, it's absolutely pouring, thundering, some lightning, the game is called before the home team bats again and we won. Shut-out. We celebrated with tradition peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches on the bus ride home. I finished my application for drum major tonight. Thanks again for the interview, Steve. Much obliged. Tomorrow I have a history test- open book, 36 Q's, piece of cake. I just need to read the chapter. : D After tomorrow I can breathe again. For one day. Then, it's off to Kansas..."On the road again..." Carrie