I prepare to write this with mixed feelings of confusion. I'm sorry we had to fall into dreams like we did; at least we closed our eyes in each others arms. But I didn't sleep well. Haven't been sleeping well. I dream too much and rest too little; maybe that's my dilema in its entirity. The superbowl is going on right now--I should be at school, watching it in the loungue with the rest of McClintock, but I remember going back too early always makes me depressed. Staying here isn't doing much as a cure. But such is how the weekend's been, regardless of all its highs. Friday was studio day for Devils on the Deuce, the sports show on channel 2 I plan on working for this semester. It went very well. I worked cameras and even anchored and they really liked me as an anchor. Kris came home, but I didn't get to see him until later that night. That kind of made me sad, but I can't be posessive of him or anything. I guess this intimate girl is just feel deprived of her intimate bubble. Saturday we hit the rocks at the rock gym. Me and the boys. T contacted me, said we need to get the ball rolling on Thread next week. I'm thrilled; finally, motion. Tomorrow will be the beginning of another long week of work and stress and five days without my best friend by my side. Five days of telephone calls saying nothing but how the day was and "I'm off to bed." I hate telephones. We have next year figured out, tentatively. I become an RA, Kris lives at home and stays with me a lot, we both save money and still get to see each other every day. In three weeks grandma is moving back with us. She wasn't supposed to until the house was finished, but she's hating it in Kansas and dad said she could come back. None of us are very happy about this because it causes a lot of difficulties. It looks like she'll be taking over my room (it's that or bringing the bed back in the office and we don't want to show the house like that because it makes the room look tiny). I guess I'm just feeling that discomfort of being out of place. With grandma here, I'll have to stay at the dorm on weekends or sleep on the couch. It might be a little awkard for Kris to stay with me if Tanisha decides to stay there too (which she has been this semester). And next year if I don't get the RA position I don't know where I'm going to live. In truth, I'm putting way too much thought into things, putting too much stress on my self and worrying far more than necessary. The only way I can explain it is to say that I'm just going through another one of those "left-field" cycles where it doesn't matter how blue the skies are, I'll find something to cry about. I kissed him goodbye and felt my throat swell and turn sharp, hardly able to swollow. "Is this is? There's absolutely no one else out there for you? You're completely set, in love, with him?" Yes.