Ok, so Travi's surprise party went very well--he was clueless, so that was cool. Lots of swimming and chicken fights and, of course, all around jolly good fun. Im really tired now...waiting for Helen to come back. She went to walk Crofton to his car about fifteen minutes ago...hmmm...curious... Megs and I had our volunteer time at Crisis Nursery this morning. Such a sad place. This little girl, Sara, kept clinging to us and crying, saying that she was ugly and everybody hated her. She was cute little girl too, just obviously with poor upbringing. It was a very interesting morning- very exhausting. I honestly don't think I could ever go back though. It really makes you look back on your own childhood and know how lucky you were. She's not back yet...what else can I say? Scribbled an interesting monologue today about Bougainvillea. What sucks though is that no one will really understand, except me. I guess I still can't get over the irony of it all; He hates Bougainvillea, and He loves it. He fell in love with the name before he saw the being. I just can't get over that and I can't believe it's taken me this long to find that connection. Being with Kris has opened my eyes to a lot of past parellels in my life. Every now and then he'll say or do something that will throw me back in time and I finally understand what I couldn't grasp then. I think, that, should I develope it the right way, I'm going to fold a new religion into Sin Is A Myth. I'm sick of hearing all this atheist crap. And no, for the curious, I'm still a disbeliever. And again, I apologize, I've tried, I really, really have. I guess I'm still trying. But I can't find it--can't FEEL it. Maybe you don't until you blindly believe but I just can't do that. So I'm writing my beliefs, my senses of origions, my reasoning and morals and creating something to live by that can't be labeled blankly as athiesm because I'm not athiest. I do believe in SOMETHING. If I believed in nothing (which I have--and most people have--at one point; it's called massive depression), I'd be dead. But I believe in a great many things, it's just a matter of sorting them out and writing them down; putting substance and format to it all. "All the laws we once made to protect us, are the very laws that currently hurt us. And these people--these 'leaders'--are nothing but suits that know how to read. If they were real leaders, they would know the rules and respect them as guidlines and understand that situations change and that everything in this world is circumstantial." "Me, I'm voting for Kerry. I'd rather see him fuck-up then spend another four years of ring-around-the-whitehouse with Bush. Send him to take part in his own No Child Left Behind Act. And when he leaves the White House, make sure he packs his crayons." In three debates of various questions, here were the most commonly given answers by each candidate: Kerry: (insert various memorized numbers of statistics on any subject, followed by an indication of what Bush did poorly) Bush: No Child Left Behind...Oh God...Vote for me! I wonder if Helen is lost... Carrie