My leisurely odd hours of the time have dissipated with the heat. Often times I arrive home, breeze past Dina's room with just enough time for a hello and goodbye and I'm gone again. Now you see me, now you don't. Here's how my schedule is now playing out: Monday and Wednesday I nanny for Jackie from about 9:30-noon. From there, I go home, grab my school stuff and race off to catch the city bus. After my class ends at two, I have about an hour and a half until my next class, during which I'm usually shooting an assignment for that class or at the library, drinking a very delicious strawberry Arnold Palmer while catching up on text book reading. I have class until about 6, Kris picks me up and the night after that varies. Mondays and Wednesdays are wonderful days. Cake. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have my 7:30 broadcasting class. From there, I go to Jackie's, usually about 10 till 1:30 when I leave my internship. I'm at my internship till 11. Some days it goes by quickly and it's fun, other days (like today), it's slow and dull. Tuesdays and Thursdays are long. Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays are question marks. Lately I've been working all three days, six hours a piece. This Friday I'm hoping to shoot again at ASU's football game. Sunday, as usual, is church, provided there aren't a million other things I need to get done. Anyway, that all sounds very light in comparison to what it's been like lately. I try not to stress out, but sometimes it does get to me and I do my usual annoying defenses of closing doors and shutting people out. I feel extremely doubtful and inadequate, I question my major and accomplishments, I criticize myself until I get mad at my self for going too far. I put a brave face on and smile for most people, and unfortunately I'm just very unkind to Him. And I always know when I'm doing it, I just find it very hard to counter-act. So I sleep it off and hope the next day will be a good one to apologize for being a cold stone. Anyway, something will shake me out of it and I'll feel better again. Confident again. Or at least, determined to prove me wrong. At any rate, it's late. And I'm exhausted. Carrie PS - snapped some really adorable pics of Mackenzie yesterday. That made me happy.