I left for him. I left, not because I wanted to, not because I was tired, not even due to the fact that I knew he had to get up early the next morning. I left because I worried about what might happen if I stayed. I didn’t want him to feel any more confusion, and I certainly didn’t want him to regret anything. I like Emily. Even though I only know her through a photograph, I’m confident that she’s a wonderful person because of Him. And I don’t want to be the reason for their breaking up. I don’t want to be the cause, the ruin to something good. This really is a Catch-22; but who’s going to hold their arms out in the end? I feel sorry for Him. Sorry that he has to choose, sorry that he has to let someone down, sorry that he has to break one girl’s heart. When I stood to go we hugged and stood with our arms wrapped so tight it was as if letting go would make one of us disappear forever. And when we pulled away and looked into each others’eyes, I couldn’t read him. I couldn’t decide on what I was seeing, or what I merely wanted to see. It was hard to turn away. But I imagine that our thoughts were something alike, imagining the same name along the lines of Emily. I don’t like where I stand in this. It’s so difficult to be on the outside of a picture, wanting in. And a thousand questions plague my mind; Will he pick me? What if it doesn’t work out? What if we’re wrong? Will he choose her? How much longer will I have to be alone? Where were we two years ago? Where will we be two years from now? It's hard, and it's unfair, but I suppose that's all what makes it life. I'm not going to let myself get downhearted by this, and, like all things in my life, I'm not going to get my hopes up. By this time, I'm pretty used to disappointment when it comes to men. Men, guys, boys, whatever. Agh, that just sounds like a pitty call. Well it's not. In all fairness, I've been lucky and I've been cursed. I guess They were right about one thing: You always want what you can't have. C'est la vie. Carrie