Yes it's me again 3rd post in one day i think thats more then I posted in the entire month of Dec! lol. I can't stop thinking about Scott. I mean it's like Everytime I talk to him I feel at peace. I can stop thinkin' about how I want to murder my sister or about the pervs and just be at peace with myself when I talk to him. It's like we share this special connection. I can't explain it. He makes me feel so special like one night when we talked he told me that he loves me with or without my scars, they are part of me, they tell a story and he says they make me more unique. No one has enevr accepted me like he has. I have tried to kill myself so many times. One time I took over 200 pills including 20 dixophrine in which are extremely deadly, I was passing out and having stomach pains and throwing up and I called him to say good bye one last time. When I got up the next morning and talked to him. He never once said "You're psycho" or "I don't like you because you're unstable" No NEVER did he say anything like that. He's been so sweet to me. If tomorrow he were to call and say "Hey come to Texas" I would pack myself some clothes, my cds, and some other stuff. I'd be out the door thumbing my way to Houston. I would leave my family and friends to be with him. It kills me at night when I lay in bed alone. I want so badly for him to put his arms around me and say I love you. I want to lay next to him and hear his heart beat. I hate having a long distance relationship. But I love him and I'm more then willing to wait for however long to be with him. It's love I know it is and it's real. I have NEVER felt like this before. I want to thank you for those that offered their advice on Ken. I decided that since no adult has listened to me so far no one ever will. I called Ken's mom before when he was at work and told her everything and she told me no fucking way would her son do such a thing! she knows I am 14 and he told me that he told her I was his girlfriend not a friend! I've posted the convo where he admits to fucking his sister in every community every chat that he knows ppl on they all tell me I am insane! He tells them that I cut myself, I'm Suicidal and I just want to get attention! That is so not tru! Yes I am suicidal Yes I am a cutter but I do not want attention! The only attention I want is for the adults to believe me. Whose gonna listen to some 14yr old right? and ya kno when he calls my house he always calls when my parents are out! It's freaky cuz I never say when they're gone since I don't want him calling. But it never fails when My sister, mom and dad are gone that's when he calls. Like on Christmas eve early in the morning at 11am I was passed out sleeping and the phone rings. I thought everyone was home. I answer and it's Ken he kept saying he wanted to have phone sex and that he's deeply in love with me! I was so freaked and no one was home It took everything I had to keep calm. And Now he's asking when can he come up for a visit! I'm scared because Ken looks at kiddie porno of kids as young as 3. My sister is 6 one year younger then his sister was when he raped her. I'm afraid for my sister. I'm afraid for all them young kids out there. Ken hangs out at the local pool and eyes up little kids. It makes me sick and there's nothing I can do because he hasn't physically touched a kid yet. Personally I would love to kill the bastard with my own hands and maybe a knife's assistance. And he has friends that are high in the catholic church so he hides behind his faith. I guess I'll just have to see what will happen Peace N Love AmyMarie