I am inching more and more towards insanity as the hours pass. I cannot control myself. I have such a urge to kill myself or to harm myself in any way shape or form. Im freaking out.....seriously its liek a bad tripp but i dont have ne drugs! overwelhmed feeling trapped....i feel liek pulling my hair out, my breathing is fucked up. I never asked to live this fucked up life.....I need to die...But I want to live and love ryan....gawd WTF is a confused scared girl to do?