Yet Again, Depression has curled it's long fingers around me, Refusing to let go. I'm not really even fighting it anymore. I've had it. Why fight what I can't beat? I can honestly say that this morning was the worst and most lonely that I have ever spent by myself. I took an Aspirin OD....just 36 pills nothing deadly...I dunno why I did, But i took those and then I slit my wrists...No Particular reason. I have a real nice cut thats an Inch wide. I wanted to tell Scott what I did, I just wanted to talk to him.....Really I wanted him to call....Just to hear his voice. But was just to afraid to say anything. I didn't say anything till i called him at 2:35am to tell him what I did. By then I was seeing colors and hearing things. He never did call me back....Took forever to get to sleep. When I did, I woke up a half hour later shaking and in a cold sweat. Worst damn nightmare ever. Took me 15 tries to get Skitzy's number in right...I left him a message, was so good to hear his voice on the recording. I was pretty much up for the rest of the night then.... So had maybe an hour or so of sleep. Was a pretty shakey day... I was so out of it. And My wrists hurt like a bitch. And guess what I have for gym....... VolleyBall! I have Mr. B as my teacher and the guy is a royal ass. Joy Joy Then today sara was bitching because I sat at HER table....Its not her fucking table! I sat there anyway just to spite her. She's such a fucking bitch. It's a free goddamn country I can sit anywhere I want. So yeah she tried throwing shit at me....Didn't work. She doesn't scare me. She wants to jump Dallas.. I swear she just wants to do this shit to get attention.....It's really pathetic. Man I miss Scott, I got to talk to him for like 5mins today..... He's been so sweet to me lately. I really love him and feel so guilty for thinking about suicide...But I dunno...I've never been so head over heels in love before, so this is just different. I really want to live with him in a few years and make every Fantasy and dream of his come true....Guess I can't do that if I kill myself.... I'm so goddamn confused its pathetic. *Eagerly Awaits for Scott to get up* Peace Out