No fucking Reason to live....Nothing left to bind the ropes once more...So close to letting go. Tired of living. I hate myself. Took a good look in the mirror today and I can't believe how much I let myself go. I was a damn good MIA last year. I could throw up on command. I tried to Purge today and All that came up was blood. I need to lose weight....Fuck I need to just fucking kill myself. I look so raggedy. My hair is all knotty, I try to comb it out but hell it still gets knotty. I just look so fucking nasty. I try to improve myself. I go on diets,. i try to lose weight the honest way but Mia always worked for me... I just fucking want to end it all.... I hate myself. I see no point in living. Before I had a reason to live. But now there's nothing keeping me here. No one would cry if I died. They say they would but its fucking BS. Sometimes I wonder if ppl only talk to me because they're afraid if they leave that I'll commit suicide over it. I mean Yes I love Scott, He's my best friend but now I'm having serious doubts. He's getting his life together, like startin with the stocks and stuff. He has tons of friends. He has a purpose....I don't. I have no future plans anymore. I use to want to be a famous writer, A doctor, A lawyer...To make a difference in the world. All those dreams have died.... like the saying goes "For if dreams die...Life is a broken wing that cannot fly" I was seriously thinking about telling Scott that we need to have a break....ya kno, let him get use to not talking. But I dunno i think he'd get kinda suspicious. I dunno...I'm fucking tired of living this life....Why Can't I just fucking get a gun and that be it.... Death is coming, I can feel The reapers breath, He wants to give me my wish. If only I'd let him..............Maybe I will.........................................................................